An army of frogs, a knot of toads.

I'm being stalked by a frog! He's outside on the door jamb right now, waiting for me to open it so he can launch himself onto my foot. I just know it.

Cosmo brought him in the window and threw him on a blanket. A blanket I made, thanks very much. Part of me wanted just to run away at that point (I *hate* when they bring in frogs!), maybe hope the mailman would come by or something, but I picked up the whole blanket and threw it out on the front porch. To make sure the frog went with it, and because I didn't know if it was injured or not, I uncovered him, and fuck if he didn't run right after me toward the door. He did. I slammed it behind me, but he was close enough that I worried I actually got him caught in it. So I slowly cracked open the door, and there he was sitting inches away. I slammed it shut and jumped around and tried to calm down. He'll leave. He's not really after me. The cats are in here; why would he want to come in? But I peeked again. He wasn't where he was, whew. But then my eyes moved. He was closer! He'd moved right toward the edge of the door where it opens. I think he's still there.

I'll put on my big boots and go out the back door later, if I have to.

Comments

[Poodle]

Just checking in ... making sure the frog didn't get you. Is he still there?

[Sweet]

No he is not, but bizarrely there is another one on the porch instead. Cos brought this one in this morning, broke his leg, and left him to me. How many times do I have to say, "NO FROGS! NOT INSIDE!"?

This morning, before frog number two, neighbor kid and I talked about how to put an injured frog out of its misery, but I don't think I have boots (or skin) thick enough to do what he suggested. His backup idea included placing it under tire and backing out of the driveway. I feel terrible not helping him on to the next world, but I can't do it.

Ooh, just checked, and it's not on the porch anymore. If that cat brings him right back in the window, he's going to be evicted.

[Betty]

this is friggin hilarious that you have a stalking frog. My mom just had some animal problems this weekend, she called me frantic because of 2 dead mice in her register that I had to scoop out and I also found 2 other mouse skeletons, then a bee disaster and attack, then ants...what next UP frogs???

[Ruby]

Sweet, this just about made me pee my pants--you are so hilarious! Sorry about the frog issue, though. But hey, maybe he was just looking for a little company. Maybe he's a good luck charm.

Miss you.